Homeowner Thanksgiving, Part III

From the Diary of Elder Owen, Mayflower Pilgrim:

Spring, 1610. I fear we may have brought with us the wrong seeds, for judging by the resulting sprouts, I fail to see any resemblance to wheat, barley, or other oats that should be evident by now.

So I checked the markings on the sacks, and, alas, they say not "Wheat," "Barley," and "Oats" at all, but rather "Crabgrass," "Clover," and "Other Lawn Weeds," and frankly, the evening stew is really suffering in taste and in substance.

But the Indians were noticeably curious, saying nothing of the likes of crabgrass and lawn weed had ever been seen before on the entire continent. Imagine that! I marvel to think that we may have introduced an entire new plant species to the New World. How marvelous of ancestors future generations will view us as!

And as for the Indians, as they watch the crabgrass spread like wild across the land, they tend to grin less these days.

And finally we have found something we can barter with to buy food from the Indians: lawn mowers.

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See Hellacious Homeowner: The Saga of Owen Cash.

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